This week, I discovered a TikToker deliberately developing the worst game of all time—complete with impossible platforming, unskippable dialogue, and a rocket launcher that has to be reloaded 150 times between each shot. I ended that post anxious that creator Everywhere Nowhere might one day release their abomination into the world for people to actually play. I'm afraid that happened sooner even than I feared.
You can now try Monster Sniper Season 3 for yourself on the developer's itch.io page, and… wow. I knew it was going to be bad, but watching it in TikToks really didn't do it justice. Actually getting your hands on it is a whole other world of pain.
Thanks to maybe the most ungodly control scheme ever devised—in which you control the hero's movement with the mouse, and control your weapon with the keyboard—it's almost impossible to steer through the ludicrously unfair platforming sequences. The music consists of one screeching, looping flute solo; every time you die, which is constantly, it starts over, meaning the soundtrack for my playthrough so far has largely been the first few tuneless notes repeated ad nauseum.
It's pure psychological torture—Everywhere Nowhere set out to make something horrible, and they've really succeeded. And yet… there's something about it. Whether it's some indescribable alchemy of the game's design, or just testament to the stubbornness of mankind, Monster Sniper Season 3 is weirdly difficult to walk away from. I can't stop myself bashing my head against its opening moments over and over, determined not to let it beat me. Help.
It would at least be nice to get past the opening platforming section and reach some of the game's even more maniacal and surreal features shown off on TikTok—such as a fish-based stock exchange, a brutal escort mission, and a dog that explodes into ants when you try and pet it. I thought I was going to be able to take some screenshots of this stuff for the article, but right now I'm lucky to survive for more than 10 seconds of play.
If you can get further than that into this awful masterpiece, you're a better gamer than I—and yet I'd put money on this becoming a perverse speedrunning challenge in the future, perhaps even trotted out by some true masochist for Games Done Quick. It feels like some sort of barbaric next step for the kind of people that enjoyed I Wanna Be The Guy or Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy. Perhaps this is the ultimate calling of the masocore bluff.
If after playing it you can think of a way it could be even worse, the developer will be eager to hear it—just drop a comment on their TikTok channel. You can also support the project work by buying some merch on their website. So far my research hasn't turned up any way of getting them to stop doing it, but I'll let you know if I find one.
