Poczta Polska, the state postal administration of Poland, is releasing a postage stamp celebrating Geralt of Rivia from The Witcher series. Strangely, this stamp features artwork of Geralt drawing a sword instead of sitting naked in a bathtub with his giant wet feet sticking right in your goddamn face. We here at PC Gamer are shocked and confused at this oversight. Wes actually went home early, so distraught was he at the news, and Shaun has sworn never to mail anything to anyone ever again.
I mean, just look at this disgraceful mail-sticker.
The utterly disappointing stamp is a limited run of 180,000, few of which will be purchased by philatelists because when people think of Geralt of Rivia they think of him nude in a wooden tub, not dressed and using a weapon.
Along with the stamp—which is a bad stamp and not a good one—there will also be a limited edition envelope, which is also bad because it does not show the slippery, shiny, completely naked wet body of Geralt. Instead it shows a medallion, which is a thing from The Witcher 3 that Geralt wears on the very few occasions he is dry and dressed.
Poczta Polska's site also shows some stamps featuring fish, which while lacking in Witching abilities are at least wet and nude. We suggest buying those instead.
As Netflix's The Witcher Season 4 loses another star, once again I feel compelled to tap the 'this no-budget YouTube fan film does the Witcher better' sign
I can only assume this upcoming Witcher children's book takes it easy on the folk horror, fantasy racism, and brutal violence I associate with the series
