If you've been on the internet for long enough, you'll have noticed its collective hive-mind has the habit of turning even the most monstrous creatures into sex icons. If you somehow hadn't noticed that, then I'm sorry for what I'm about to bring to your attention.
In a recent post on Instagram, Jonah Lobe—who worked with Bethesda for over seven years on games like Fallout 3, 4, and The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim—admitted that not only had he observed the internet's collective desire for the wasteland's most vicious murder beast, but that he was "impressed/terrified" by the "sheer tonnage" of Deathclaw smut online.
In a conversation with Kotaku, Lobe expanded on the creature's accidental appeal: "I gave it a hulking, long-armed physique, a toothy scowl, and lion-like eyes that regarded the player—not with hate— but as if they were food … But some people enjoy being looked at that way. It can be, dare I say it, titillating?"
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To add curses upon curses, Lobe also went into his design decisions, emphasising the soft skin of the Deathclaw's muscular belly and "tender pink" around their nostrils, which he thinks might have contributed to their vicious allure. I've never had nightmares about supple Deathclaw nostrils, but I surely will be soon.
While Lobe holds a mixture of horror and awe at the sins he's wrought, he's gone on record as not wanting to "yuck anyone's yum". He's even retweeted the confession of one Twitter/X user DeathclawAlpha, who wrote "I feel responsible", then tagged Lobe's account with a sheepish "Sorry pops".
It seems a playful back-and-forth between deathclaw artist and deathclaw daddy, though—as over on the same Instagram thread, Lobe pointed his authorial finger back at the scalie admirer: "If you weren't so sexy, we would not have a problem right now."
Lobe's right, though—and while I would typically back up such claims as 'there is a lot of this stuff on the internet' with a source, I'm not entirely sure if it's wise (or justified) to subject you to the reams of Deathclaw porn available on your preferred search engine. You'll just have to trust me on this one. I do, however, find the internet's carnal obsession with things that can kill them extremely funny.
Here's an excerpt I found describing the creatures from the first Fallout game: "The Deathclaw is the most evil thing to rise out of the ashes after the War. … It's 20 feet tall with teeth as big as your arm. It's some kind of demon that found its way here when the world was engulfed in fire." It's evocative, certainly, but not a great bio for a dating profile. Oh, who am I kidding, it'd probably work a treat.
