Team Fortress 2 Über Update: Day 3

The hits just keep on coming. By now, you know the drill: Team Fortress 2's upcoming Über Update is unloading new items for every class, with the latest two being the Scout and Soldier. Crafty types will know that the Scout pack was hidden in the Timbuk Tuesday post, but we're all seeing the Soldier items for the first time. Check 'em out, if for no other reason than to lay eyes on the first weapon to buff your allies when you smack them with it (medi-gun heals don't count).

PCG's Gut Reactions™:

The Soldier

• The Liberty Launcher: Three rockets per clip that travel faster when fired. Pretty straightforward, though this seems like the perfect compromise for someone who can't decide if they prefer the default Rocket Launcher or the Direct Hit.

• The Reserve Shooter: With all the Buff Banners being used these days, it's less likely that you'll bear witness to the expert technique of popping an enemy into the air with a rocket, then peppering their bodies with lead while they fall helplessly to the ground. This shotgun could bring back a resurgence of this Soldier strategy; I'd say it's about time.

• The Market Gardener: Now you can give special delivery shovels-to-the-face, even if your target's soaring through the air. A melee crit is no joke, and this'll be a hoot when rocket jumping up to ledges like those found on 2Fort. I mean, what? I don't play that silly map anymore! Who said that?!

• The Disciplinary Action: Hyah! Mush, medic, and get your keister to the frontlines! Now you can finally contribute to your team by endlessly smacking your teammates during a match, which, up until now, had accomplished diddly. I'll gladly take a 25% reduction in melee damage in exchange for a speed boost that greatly benefits myself and others.

• The Mantreads: Say hello to some new footwear with absolutely no downside. With these combat boots equipped, you'll turn into a walking tank, laughing off turret rockets during an ubercharge or crushing your enemies beneath your feet like an enraged Incredible Hulk.

The Scout

• The Soda Popper: Apparently, energy drinks make for excellent shotgun barrels. Just go with it. The "hype" mechanic sounds perfect my a Scout with my kind of playstyle: sticking low to the ground, rarely jumping lest I get nailed in mid-air. You'll only get two shots, but you'll fire and reload much quicker—think of it as a Force-A-Nature without the pushback.

• The Atomizer: Triple. Jump. BOOYAH! With this superbat equipped, you'll be hopping all over the place like a jackrabbit on methamphetamine. Your melee damage output will go down the tubes as a result, but it'll all be worth it when you score a kill by triple-jumping on top of someone's noggin, Mario style.

• The Winger: Meh. This is more of a preference thing: would you rather spray pistol shots all over the place, or be more frugal with your ammo clip in favor of increased damage?

I was so sure today would be Wacky Wednesday, but Valve proves once again that they have superior wordplay skills. Who's pumped that the Soldier gets a whopping five items (or even ten, if this is in fact the first of two item sets)? If all this talk of TF2 action is getting you hot and bothered (and who could blame you), join the PC Gamer Steam group and you'll find that we're hosting TF2 events constantly.