Starfield's name-remembering robot buddy can't do 'Glenn' or 'Greg,' but it will call you 'Captain Assface'

Old man starfield character with pink hair and mustache smiling
(Image credit: Bethesda)

When Todd Howard revealed that Starfield's robot buddy Vasco could vocalize your character's name, I knew there were bound to be some "Bort license plate" situations waiting to happen. Reddit user andy24olivera claims to have datamined the list of hundreds of recorded names Vasco can draw from, and in my testing, it seems to be accurate⁠—both the omissions, and the more out-there inclusions.

There are a lot of joke options on that list, but something about "Assface" called to me. I girded my loins, booted up Starfield, and did an aggressive, impatient speedrun of its less-than-winning intro. Sure enough, when I approached Vasco, there it was: "Captain Assface." Mother of God, they actually did it.

(Image credit: Bethesda)

I'd actually forgotten all about this promised feature with my first character, named "Glenn"—Vasco will only recognize the one-n version of this noble name, so my first dude was out of luck. The Gregs of the world are similarly left in the cold, be they of the one or two-g variety. There are a few Gregs in andy24olivera's comments lamenting Starfield's anti-Greg bias.

As much as I do have sympathy for the Gregs of the world, I don't want to get on Bethesda's case about omissions⁠—Vasco saying your name aloud is such a fun, silly flex, and there are so many names that will actually work, all drawing from a great variety of cultures and traditions. I'm mostly here for the joke ones though. It feels like the culmination of telling Ness' mom that his favorite food is something unmentionable, or giving your Pokemon rival a particularly undignified name. Here are a few of my other favorites from andy24olivera's list:

Starfield guideStarfield traitsStarfield companionsStarfield romance optionsStarfield console commandsStarfield mods

Starfield guide: Our hub of advice
Starfield traits: The full list, with our top picks
Starfield companions: All your recruitable crew
Starfield romance options: Space dating
Starfield console commands: Every cheat you need
Starfield mods: Space is your sandbox

Associate Editor

Ted has been thinking about PC games and bothering anyone who would listen with his thoughts on them ever since he booted up his sister's copy of Neverwinter Nights on the family computer. He is obsessed with all things CRPG and CRPG-adjacent, but has also covered esports, modding, and rare game collecting. When he's not playing or writing about games, you can find Ted lifting weights on his back porch.

Read more
Official Doom Guy art superimposed over Vault 666 Fallout-themed background.
Fallout-themed Doom mod Vault 666 has multiple endings, an OP Dogmeat companion, and a Ron Perlman-impersonating narrator so good, I was worried it was AI-generated at first
Starfield First Contact
Bethesda intended Starfield to be more violent, including 'meat caps' for beheaded astronauts, but the gore was toned down for technical reasons and because it 'didn't fit thematically'
Image of illuminated manuscript-style drawings from the game Pentiment.
Random characters kept swearing in Obsidian's font-obsessed murder-mystery when its procedural error system ran amok: 'Naughtiness abounded'
The creepiest guy leans in front of an NPC mid-conversation in Starfield.
Starfield promises it still exists as silence drives fans to space-madness, but it mostly just annoys everyone: 'They are deliberately choosing not to communicate more'
Starfield: Shattered Space
By the time Bethesda was on Starfield, you'd 'basically get in trouble' for breaking schedule, says former dev: 'A lot of the great stuff within Skyrim came from having the freedom to do what you want'
The director and executive producer at Bethesda Game Studios, Todd Howard, addresses the crowd about the new Fallout video game during the Bethesda E3 conference at LA Live in Los Angeles, California on June 10, 2018. - The three day E3 Game Conference begins on Tuesday June 12.
'I think geniuses come up with terrible ideas, too': Former senior artist at Bethesda likens Todd Howard's struggles with complete creative control to George Lucas
Latest in RPG
A screenshot from SaGa Frontier 2, showing one of the protagonists wandering through a quaint fantasy village
One of Square Enix' most underrated PlayStation-era JRPGs just shadow dropped on Steam
kingdom come: deliverance 2 henry looks confused
'Medieval Batman' completes Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 pacifist playthrough with zero kills and 535 knockouts
The Huntress holding a bloody spear.
The biggest update since Path of Exile 2's early access launch is coming next week, bringing a new class and a bunch of endgame changes
Key art for the Ranger class in Path of Exile 2
Path of Exile 2 director isn't worried about ARPG competition, in part thanks to seasons: 'So long as people are willing to come back and play our game for a month four times a year, then I'm good'
Wuk Lamat, a character in Final Fantasy 14: Dawntrail, stares in an unimpressed manner.
'I can't really say what they were thinking' says whistleblowing modder, as Final Fantasy 14's attempt to thwart stalkers falls terribly short of the mark
Raidou Kuzonoha and pals, looking like they've about to drop the most fire single of the 1930s
Raidou Remastered is finally bringing the historical Shin Megami Tensei supernatural sleuth spinoff to PC this June
Latest in News
A screenshot from SaGa Frontier 2, showing one of the protagonists wandering through a quaint fantasy village
One of Square Enix' most underrated PlayStation-era JRPGs just shadow dropped on Steam
The titular character from Princess Mononoke is depicted riding the wolf goddess Moro and carrying a spear.
Studio Ghibli AI image trend floods social media, cheered on by OpenAI and denounced by critics as an insult to Hayao Miyazaki
Marvel Rivals tier list - Wolverine
Marvel Rivals director says a future patch will reduce the shooter's insatiable hunger for RAM: 'It's a very big problem'
Hogwarts Legacy potions professor holding a potion
An unannounced Hogwarts Legacy expansion and 'definitive edition' have reportedly been cancelled
Story of Seasons - A cahacter in a purple tuxedo stands outside in a town square talking to the player
Story of Seasons is doing another Harvest Moon remake and it might be the best the series has ever looked
Assassin's Creed Shadows change seasons - An upper-body shot of Yasuke looking cheerfully up into the distance.
Assassin's Creed Shadows puts up the 'second highest day-one sales revenue in Assassin's Creed franchise history'