Roguemance is a love-themed roguelike about fighting blue balls

Think TV dating show Love Island but with weapons and where relationship issues are portrayed by physical enemies, and you're some ways towards understanding Roguemance—the latest pixelated project in the works from solo indie dev Lucas Molina. He plans to launch his "romantic roguelite about love and relationships" on Valentine's Day next year, but is celebrating the beginning of that journey by opening alpha signs-ups today.

Each fight takes the form of a date, explains Molina, and you have to adapt to your partner's needs in order to defeat your enemies. As it stands, the Roguemance website lists six love-themed adversaries you'll go up against which include money, ex-partners, stonewalling, manipulation, yelling and, yes, blue balls. Love hurts etc. 

Here's a look at that lineup in situ: 

When you're not facing off against weird manifestations of smutty sex-related phrases, you're touring the 'Heartipelago'—a heart-shaped island upon which you'll meet new people, battle new enemies, and "manage your party of love interests." 

You can cheat and be cheated on and while it's now beginning to sound a lot like Love Island, true love is apparently out there—which is when you ultimately settle down with your partner of choice and go toe-to-toe(s) with the 'final boss', otherwise known as your ex. 

If any of that lights your fire, Roguemane is due next year and alpha sign-ups are live now. Head this way to find out more, and of course: Happy Valentine's Day. 

Deputy Editor, PC Gaming Show
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