Minecraft movie villagers look like what I imagine Hell is

minecraft movie
(Image credit: Warner Bros)

Woof. This is what the villagers look like in A Minecraft Movie, in case you still had any hope left for this one. I'm comfortable saying it's one of the worst still images from a film I've ever seen—many times more upsetting than the pre-delay Sonic face.

There does not exist a suitable crime in California's penal code to hold Warner Bros accountable for what it's doing with the Minecraft movie, so let's just call it sightcrime. I'm sad that a videogame film that should be a slam dunk on the scale of Sonic or Mario is showing all the charm of a moldy potato. I'm depressed at the thought that somebody sat at a desk for hours rendering these foreskin monstrosities.

A Minecraft Movie | NBA All Star Game :60 - YouTube A Minecraft Movie | NBA All Star Game :60 - YouTube
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The pair of villagers appear three seconds into the latest Minecraft movie trailer, and that's as far as I've gotten through the 60-second spot that aired during the NBA All-Star game. That's not entirely true: I hovered over the timeline on YouTube far enough to see more of Jack Black squeezed into his Steve shirt and Jason Momoa in a bad wig. What a horrid reminder that the whole film interprets Minecraft's blocky, flat-texture world into hyperrealistic meat monsters (featuring actual humans on a green screen, for some reason). For the sake of comparison, here's what villagers usually look like in Minecraft:

minecraft villager

(Image credit: Mojang)

As you can see, actual Minecraft villagers are ugly in an endearing, Squidward-esque "leave me alone, I'm farming" sorta way. They're curmudgeons who will begrudgingly trade 18 emeralds for a slice of watermelon, hoping you accept their awful deal. They would never ask for a hug, but wouldn't pull away from one immediately.

Anyways, maybe the kiddos will dig it. Did you know this thing's out on April 4? God help us all.

Minecraft updateMinecraft seedsMinecraft texture packsMinecraft skinsMinecraft mods

Minecraft update: What's new?
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Minecraft texture packs: Pixelated
Minecraft skins: New looks
Minecraft mods: Beyond vanilla

Morgan Park
Staff Writer

Morgan has been writing for PC Gamer since 2018, first as a freelancer and currently as a staff writer. He has also appeared on Polygon, Kotaku, Fanbyte, and PCGamesN. Before freelancing, he spent most of high school and all of college writing at small gaming sites that didn't pay him. He's very happy to have a real job now. Morgan is a beat writer following the latest and greatest shooters and the communities that play them. He also writes general news, reviews, features, the occasional guide, and bad jokes in Slack. Twist his arm, and he'll even write about a boring strategy game. Please don't, though.

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