He nimbly evades my initial attempt at an interrupt and lands his heavy string at the beginning of round three. My own heavy attacks are too slow to parry them, and the rapier doesn’t have the block power that a longsword does. I’m out of my depth. I try throwing a knife at him—something I usually don’t like to do, as it feels cheap—but he parries it and closes the distance again. Another heavy combo and it’s over. I’m defeated by a Diamond again, and my rating drops. I’m 840th.
I take a break for 20 minutes, and when I return the only Diamond player available is that same Ryoku. I decide to take the risk and duel him anyway.
I go in heavy at the start and manage to block that heavy string I hate so much. It gives me space to land some damage, and although he gets his backwards sweep off, I’ve got the momentum. I land another fast string, and then deflect an attempted grab and nail him with the lunge. Round one goes my way.
Round two begins with a heavy sweep into a fast string, but he blocks the last attack and successfully grabs me. He dodges the counter attack and lands his heavy combo, taking the round.
Round three is a complete disaster. He lands his heavy string, then dodges as I try to counter and hits me from the side, then again with the string. I block two grab attempts but eat the reverse sweep, and then he grabs me again—I believe I see the beginning of the counter-grab animation, but for whatever reason it doesn’t connect. The grab kills me, and I lose my second match against him. I nervously check my ranking. My heart sinks. I’ve lost almost 9%. I’m 1,721st in the world. I’m back in Steel.
God damn it. I’m not going down, not like this. This isn’t how this diary ends. I quit the game, load Spotify, and create a new playlist called ‘montage’. Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins. The Touch by Stan Bush. Eye of the Tiger. Spandau Ballet’s Gold. I am getting back into Diamond, and I’m doing it right now.
I load onto a server using a simple duelling map. I defeat an Oak league Ryoku during the solo in Danger Zone and finish off another Phalanx during The Touch. Eye of the Tiger kicks in as I fight my first Steel of the session, a Phalanx armed with a longsword. I recognise his name from the chat channel—he’s been trying to talk down a very vocal, very irritating player who won’t stop accusing other players of being cheap. He is trying to restore order, and seems like a good guy. I want to destroy him.
A heavy right sweep interrupts his lunge. Fast forward hits, hits again. He lands his own heavy but he’s too slow—fast parry, roll, foil meets flank. I intercept an attempted aerial attack with a jumpcancelled thrust and finish him off on the ground. Round one to me.
I charge him as round two begins. I hit him. So many times. It happens too fast. I’m trading passion for glory. I’ve kept my grip on the dreams of the past, and I’m fighting to keep them aliiiive.
We exchange fast blows and then I land a lunge that I cancel into a sideways balanced parry. Rapiers recover faster from parries than longswords do, and he doesn’t account for that. A few fast thrusts and I’ve won. We’re into Spandau Ballet territory by now, but I’m not gold. I’m Diamond. Rank 691. So we’re back where we started.
I beat a Diamond league Judgement after that, then another Phalanx, then a Pure. The latter two are a few hundred places ahead of me and scrapping for Master. I drop the next two games, win one, and then drop the next. My rating hovers around 700, and the elation of reclaiming that place fades as I realise what a task climbing any higher is going to be. I either need to find and beat Diamonds that I’m already comfortably better than—in which case, my time in Master is likely to be short-lived—or I need to improve dramatically.
I’m worried that I’m just not good enough to climb any higher. I read back on what I’ve written about my fights and start to see the patterns: I win when my lunges land and lose when I don’t. I feel like I’ve graduated from the kind of cheesy play that defines beginner rapier players, but I’ve not really replaced it with anything that matches what I’ve seen top-level players do. Am I stuck in limbo? Am I too afraid of losing my rating again to ditch the rapier, even though that’s what I need to do?
Competitive players can’t afford to be choosy about how they win. I’ve defended that argument in the past—particularly as it applies to Dota 2—and I worry that perhaps I’ve let my imagination get in the way of my Blade Symphony play.
My next duelling session turns out to be providential. I log in the next day and the only Diamond players on the server are struggling to dislodge a talented Master, rank 60, who is defeating them with an untouchable Ryoku. I face him and he destroys me so quickly that it doesn’t really bear describing.
