I wanted to enjoy this Vampire Survivors-like about killer slime, but its gooey destruction just felt ho-hum

Slime 3K
(Image credit: Team17)

Slime 3K: Rise Against Despot is basically a horror game. Not that you'd notice: It tries to mask its horror as best it can, hiding behind a silly, giddy façade, delighting in quirky abilities, quippy one-liners and a general sense of irreverence. You mow down an unending army of puny human enemies—some with shields and swords, others dressed like Sailor Moon—with boomerang bananas and olive guns, leaving behind an ocean of skeletons in your wake, and the game celebrates with smiles and applause.

Slime 3K is cute. It's fun. But look deeper, and the horror at its core is tied implicitly to the charming destruction that is intimately familiar to anyone who's dabbled in the new genre of Vampire Survivors-likes before.

Transforming leveling and stat growth into a physical mechanic, games in this style are all about unbridled evolution, what begins as weak and small rapidly growing into something unrecognizable, deadly and strong. This is even more literal in Slime3K: you're a smiling ball of slime whose body physically changes with each power-up. Where once was nothing is now an eye, or a cyst, or floating gore, or a giant needle sticking out. It is a game about twisting and deforming and breaking yourself in the name of power and control.

Why am I hardly doing any damage? What do you mean I can't pick that up? Hold on, I'm already dead?

There are differences to the Vampire Survivors standard, though, which complicate this idea. You're big and slow, a massive, crawling target that can barely dodge a thing. Coupled with relatively small, constrained levels, play sessions can easily feel claustrophobic—less a power-trip of attaining godhood and more a desperate battle of attrition and evolution for pure survival. And with an absolute metric ton of health pick-ups and temporary speed boosts littering the field, it is very common to end up lost in a sea of baddies playing a game of health bar management, planning and executing on routes that run through the infinite horde to keep that green bar just above zero. 

Leveling itself is also more restrained. With a limited inventory and the need to collect and combine three of the same ability in order to strengthen it, you never have enough space for what you want and are constantly forced to make sacrifices for what you need.

In the beginning this can be maddening. Why am I hardly doing any damage? What do you mean I can't pick that up? Hold on, I'm already dead? But once you get a handle on these constraints, a satisfying tension replaces the frustration: Always outnumbered and outpowered, wins don’t come because you got lucky, but because you understood and manipulated the limited resources at your disposal, and they feel more earned because of it. In Slime 3K, evolution isn't liberating, it is something to struggle with. This is not a game about freedom.

(Image credit: Team17)

It's also not a game about in-the-moment experimentation: There are no hidden item combinations or secrets in the levels or even weapons which change drastically when fully powered. Instead, Slime 3K uses a deckbuilding system, letting you pick and choose what weapons and items will show up in the level. This fits well with the more methodical pacing, and has that deckbuilding allure of tweaking your deck after each loss until it has been shaped into a perfect and pure collection of synergized abilities.

But it also kills spontaneity. Every session becomes predictable and planned. Mass slaughter as a bouncy slime ball is just day-to-day work in this dystopian world of rundown laboratories and all-seeing surveillance.

You're not just a puddle of slime because puddles of slime are cute—it's the perfect vessel for letting your character morph until it is entirely unrecognizable. Your youness hardly matters at all because this is a game where, by design, so much seems to happen and nothing really does. You do the same things over and over—think the same thoughts, execute the same plan: move around, collect health, and watch with empty satisfaction as numbers fill the screen.

Playing Slime 3K feels good. Time flies when I'm with it, and when I'm not, I'm often thinking about it. But what is really happening? Despite its best efforts to differentiate itself, Slime3K’s biggest strengths—its tension and claustrophobia—quickly fade into the same endless repetition inherent to the genre. There’s no surprise, no wrenches thrown (metaphorical wrenches; you can throw plenty of literal wrenches even without arms) to keep you on your toes and fully engaged. When the game turns on, my mind goes blank, emotions stalled at a warm buzz as I move my slime in the exact same way, watching my health bar go up and down with the only faintest sense of accomplishment.

When playing, I become the slime, smiling and happy and totally empty, allowing myself to be consumed. I level and grow; the brain gently hums. Nothing changes.

That's the source of the horror: Throughout your life, you will grow and evolve—you will age, gain experience and knowledge, meet new people, make new relationships—and yet at the end of the line, it all ends up the same. In the end, no matter what you do, you're still gonna end up a big ball of slime.

Baxter Burchill

Baxter Burchill, a self-described "lazy son of a gun who writes for fun," is a hobbyist writer and English teacher living in Japan who loves helping others find great art nearly as much as he loves vomiting onto a page.

Read more
Facing an enemy in No-Skin
No-Skin is an incredibly simple horror roguelike about the worst party ever, full of strong booze, bad conversation and eldritch violence
The Sleeper, an android body, floats listlessly in zero-G.
Citizen Sleeper 2: Starward Vector review
Keyart for Halls of Torment showing a single figure facing down an army of wratihs.
Halls of Torment review
Anton Falcon
Put Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, Hades and Risk of Rain in a blender and you get Helskate, plus a whole lot of jank
Three adventurers readying for battle in Knights in Tight Spaces.
Knights in Tight Spaces review
Soldiers
Atomfall review
Latest in Survival & Crafting
An Enshrouded player in a recreation of Erebor from The Lord of the Rings
Kings under the Mountain! 33 Enshrouded players spent 10,000 hours to recreate this iconic location from The Lord of the Rings
An April Fool's Day Palworld game concept about dating Pals
From Palworld movies to Palworld TV shows: 'Everyone under the sun pitched us every idea you can imagine,' says Pocketpair's communications director
Pacific Drive Endless Expeditions spring 2025 update trailer still - a sexy, tricked-out 1980s station wagon being blasted with magic healing electricity
Pacific Drive developers change their mind: A year after refusing to give it mid-run saves, it's getting mid-run saves
minecraft diamond level sword
Minecraft's never going free-to-play because as it stands it's 'the best deal in the world'
New shaders in Minecraft following Minecraft Live 2025
In the year of our lord 2025, Mojang is finally adding shaders to Minecraft, making reflective lighting and water effects more accessible for all
A dried ghast, a ghastling, and a friendly ghast all smiling
The latest Minecraft Live uncovered the tragic truth of the Nether's most bothersome mob, which has unlocked new levels of guilt
Latest in Features
Dancing Green in Final Fantasy 14.
Final Fantasy 14's latest raids have me fully convinced that Square Enix can still cook, even as job design lags behind
Razer Blade 16 (2025) gaming laptop
Nvidia RTX 5090 mobile tested: The needle hasn't moved on performance but this is the first time I'd consider ditching my desktop for a gaming laptop
Phantom Blade Zero
Chinese action game Phantom Blade Zero didn't click for me until I realized its deep commitment to wuxia film authenticity meant I had to relearn how swords work
kingdom come deliverance 2 thunderstone quest
Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2's masterful quest design can be summed up by one wonderfully weird search for a magic stone
Blue Protocol players dancing minutes before the game closes forever
What will we do at the end of the world? If MMOs are any indication: mostly what we already do, plus a lot of dancing
Sphene applauds in Final Fantasy 14's patch 7.2 story.
I'm not yelling 'we're so back!' yet, but Final Fantasy 14's patch 7.2 story could be the first sign the MMO is returning to what made it so critically-acclaimed