Sorry, everyone, sex is temporarily banned in Helldivers 2 because you failed the major order, though some of your fellow soldiers are getting special treatment

An image of a post-coitus scene from Starship Troopers, crossed out with a giant red X, with the Super Earth spokesperson from Helldivers 2 screaming sweet liberty in front of all of it.
(Image credit: TriStar Pictures / Arrowhead Games)

It's just another normal day in Helldivers 2. Players, regrettably, appear to have failed the major order to liberate Fori Prime and Zagon Prime. While the galactic map shows Fori Prime as safe and sound, Zagon Prime is regrettably at zero percent liberation. We lost, folks. As a consequence of our collective inability to manage our democracy at acceptable levels, Arrowhead Games has hit players with the worst punishment of all.

(Image credit: Arrowhead Games)

"The expansion of our citizens to new planets will be reduced in-line with the reduction of expected Element 710 to be produced," the major order failed dispatch reads. "Further procreation applications will be denied until further notice." In case you're wondering what a procreation application is, patriots have to fill in a C-01 permit before any action that could "result in a child", as per one helpful loading screen tip.

So yeah, you're not allowed to have sex any more. But your fellow soldier? They could be getting special treatment. A handful of players have reported that they've received a conflicting "mission succeeded" statement, without the attached carnal punishment.

Comment from r/Helldivers
Uhh... Joel? from r/Helldivers

Personally, I think this is all dissident propaganda designed to divide us. The enemy is counting on you flying into a jealous rage and dropping a 500kg bomb onto your fellow soldier, but I cannot emphasise enough: resist the urge. It might be funny, but it's exactly what the fascist bugs want.

Besides, I do want to point out the obvious loophole in this punishment: there's lots you can do with your fellow divers that can't result in a child. I'm just saying, if you're struggling in the fight for liberty, you don't have to fill out a C-01 permit for someone with the same loadout as you to help you fire your autocannon. Wink.

As for the new major order, four Terminid planets need to be under our control in just over three days: Fori Prime, Estanu, the fire-tornado filled Hellmire, and Crimsica. Your reward? 35 medals, and hopefully the ability to make babies once more.

Harvey Randall
Staff Writer

Harvey's history with games started when he first begged his parents for a World of Warcraft subscription aged 12, though he's since been cursed with Final Fantasy 14-brain and a huge crush on G'raha Tia. He made his start as a freelancer, writing for websites like Techradar, The Escapist, Dicebreaker, The Gamer, Into the Spine—and of course, PC Gamer. He'll sink his teeth into anything that looks interesting, though he has a soft spot for RPGs, soulslikes, roguelikes, deckbuilders, MMOs, and weird indie titles. He also plays a shelf load of TTRPGs in his offline time. Don't ask him what his favourite system is, he has too many.

Read more
helldivers 2 illuminids
Helldivers 2 boss hopes Illuminates will be a 'tremendous challenge' for hardened vets of the galactic war
Helldivers 2
Helldivers 2 continues its streak of turning missteps into in-game lore: After a major feature was paused for 24 hours, Super Earth says 'nothing out of the ordinary has happened'
helldivers 2 illuminids
Arrowhead boss sees Helldivers 2 players pulling off 'gambits,' loves it, and 'wants to keep investing in' community war tactics
A screenshot of Helldivers 2, depicting a Helldiver saluting while wearing an anthropomorphic facemask
Helldivers 2's latest warbond adds a stratagem I've craved since the galactic war started, a portable hellbomb
A helldiver, obscured by a halo of white light, stands victorious against a Super Earth flag in Helldivers 2.
Helldivers 2's Illuminate invasion is the cherry on top of one of the best first years a live service game has ever had
Helldivers 2 intro cinematic
Arrowhead CEO reassures Helldivers 2 players in the wake of Johan Pilestedt's sabbatical that if they can keep the game 'going for 10 years, we will'
Latest in Third Person Shooter
Mech in dry dock with person standing on catwalk underneath
How long can a live service game last? Theoretically, 'forever,' says Mecha Break developer: 'The last game I was in charge of has been alive and well for 16 years'
A player character with an ominous mask
The Forever Winter, my favourite extraction shooter, just overhauled its most contentious feature for the second time: 'It was a hell of a rollercoaster to make the adjustment'
Marvel Rivals crosshairs - Star-Lord flying up towards the camera with his guns at the ready.
Best Marvel Rivals crosshairs and reticle codes
Mister Fantastic fridge mode
Marvel Rivals announces a new limited-time game mode, Clone Rumble, and manages to pull off a comic caper that players only thought was possible in theory
Jeff, from Marvel Rivals, poses merrily with his cute little winter onesie on.
Jeff the Land Shark's creator tells whiny Marvel Rivals players who can't deal with her hero to buck up: 'Sounds like a skill issue to me, if my boy is beating your ass every night'
Best Free Steam Games - Marvel Rivals - Black Widow aims down a sniper scope.
'The market is large enough to accommodate both games': NetEase is confident it can make space for Marvel Rivals and Overwatch 2
Latest in News
A masked man with an axe in the woods
Rebellion CEO seems kind of awed by major studios making massive videogames: 'How do you organize a game that has 2,000 people working on it?'
A young witch watering a smiling mushroom in a magic garden
Here's a roguelite dungeon crawler Steam reviewers call 'a botanical Diablo' and 'like Cult of the Lamb' except you manage a mystical garden
Destiny 2 Rite of the Nine: The Emissary, massive, ominously standing at the edge of a water basin.
Oops! Bungie rolled out Destiny 2's Rite of the Nine event three weeks early, and new loot is already dropping
No Rest for the Wicked Steam early access screenshots
No Rest for the Wicked developer Moon Studios is now 'fully independent' after acquiring the rights to the game from Take-Two
A hunter posing with an absurd Blangonga outfit in Monster Hunter Wilds.
Attention, fashion hunters: There's a Monster Hunter Wilds mod to disable all those obnoxious glowing buff effects that distract from your fits
Fallout New Vegas Key Art
The Fallout season 2 leaks continue with videos of the New Vegas set, including a sign for Mr. House's casino