At first I thought this had to be an April Fool's joke fired early, or perhaps a build-up to one coming next week. But I double-checked with the company, and it's true: For reasons I absolutely cannot fathom, Cheech and Chong are coming to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 and Warzone.
"Forged in the counterculture revolution, yet armed with drive and creative power, Tommy Chong and Cheech Marin turned cultural friction into comedic success," the Call of Duty blog explains for those under the age of, I don't know, 40, maybe? "Facing systemic barriers with humor and cannabis, the duo exploited adversity to bring underground voices into the mainstream.
"Chong’s ingenuity and Marin’s heritage primed them for fame, while their comedic chemistry made them icons. Their albums and films exposed injustice with subversive joy, pioneering stoner comedy and becoming symbols of irreverent truth."
That's not an inaccurate summation of their career, but why am I reading it on the Call of Duty blog? Why are they referring to the guys who did Dave as "operators?" How did it come to this? That's my real question: At what point did we decide that videogames are such an incoherent clown show that we might as well shovel in anyone willing to sign on the dotted line?
Nicki Minaj is weird enough, yes, as are King Kong, Godzilla, and Warhammer 40,000, but even in light of those additions, the inclusion of Cheech and Chong in a big-budget modern military shooter seems egregious—even outrageous. The characters are obviously as non-military as it gets, a point Activision made itself with that "forged in the counterculture revolution" bit, and in real life Marin fled to Canada to dodge the draft during the Vietnam War—where he met Chong, who's Canadian and thus didn't have to worry about it.
Yet somehow, they're taking on roles that pretty overtly glorifies the Western war machine of the modern day. I don't blame them for it, really: Everybody's got to earn a living, and if Snoop Dog can do it, why not them? But it's a bit like watching an old hippie sign a NIMBY petition against new housing in the neighborhood: You used to stand for something, man.
For the record, Marin and Chong are providing voices for their operators, so you know it's the real deal. They've even got their own finishing move, called "Secondhand Smoke," because of course it is. They're coming to Modern Warfare 3 and Warzone on April 20—that's 4-20—because, again, of course they are.
Anyway, here's to the memories.
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