As a part of its celebration of Baldur's Gate 3's one-year anniversary, Larian unveiled some more juicy data about its players' decisions across their various playthroughs on X, "The Everything App." Seeing the wild ways other people choose to experience this game is always a hoot, but the best part is learning about things I didn't even know were in the game. Spoilers ahead for Baldur's Gate 3's endings, and content warning for suicide.
Before the main event, I'd like to shout out the most evil choice in the game: turning Gale's tressym familiar Tara into a hairless cat—a choice available to avatar Gales who opted to keep the Crown of Karsus. That's just cruel, but even this obscure outcome, which was experienced by just 2,185 players, is downright mainstream compared to Lae'zel's strangest possible fate.
"34 players playing as Lae'zel chose to kill themselves at the end of the game after Vlaakith rejected their ascension," reads Larian's infographic about the rare ending. But how do you even reach that point? Thankfully, SlimX on YouTube, a specialist in Baldur's Gate 3 esoterica, has an explainer video on the subject.
This ending requires the extreme edge case of a Lae'zel origin player remaining loyal to Vlaakith in the Gith's personal quest, yet choosing to become a mind flayer when offered the choice by the Emperor. Bear in mind, a lot of the drama and tension around becoming a mind flayer at this juncture comes down to sparing Orpheus, the exiled Gith prince, which is completely antithetical to keeping Vlaakith happy—in this ending, you've basically chosen the tentacle life for the lulz.
So the set-up alone requires some incongruous choices. At the very end of the game, Mind Flayer Lae'zel will give Vlaakith a little astral projection telephone call only to get the answering machine. Realizing she's been rejected, body and soul, Squid'zel has the choice to end her life then and there, or try to carry on regardless.
You not only have to choose Lae'zel's "evil" path through the game for this—remaining loyal to an immortal witch empress—you also have to be bad at it, becoming one of the Githyanki's mortal enemies for no real reason right at the very end. Like so many such cases in Baldur's Gate 3, it speaks to Larian's next-level commitment to respecting player choices and responding to them. And hey, being rejected from Vlaakith's "ascension" isn't so bad—the Githyanki's alleged living valhalla is actually cover for Vlaakith stealing the life force from her most promising subjects.
The new subclasses coming in Baldur's Gate 3 are a powergamer's paradise, and I know because I've seen them do terrible work in D&D
Baldur's Gate 3 is going out with a big bang by adding 12 new subclasses, so you can finally become a drunken master or maybe just befriend some bees, along with crossplay and a photo mode
