Hepatitis Seas
5
Robert Bowling
President of Robotoki ● Twitter: @fourzerotwo | Web: fourzerotwo.com
Population: 16,733 ● Treasury: §3,299
Directory of Mayors: Notch ● Veronica Belmont ● Jordan Yin, Ph.D. ● Chris Kluwe ● Robert Bowling ● Brian Brushwood ● Gary Whitta ● Tyler Wilde
The glitz! The glamour! Hepatitis Seas relies on nobody for its service, providing its happy small-town residents with all the power, water, and seedy gambling houses it needs, as well as insubstantial sewage treatment facilities. Recently, Mayor Bowling approved mining operations, a decision he explains in a county-wide memo:
There's a budget itch that needs to be scratched in the sweaty bowels of Hepatitis Seas. Our early investment in Low End Casinos and Low Rent housing has backfired as we've been forced to take Bond after Bond to stay afloat. Relying entirely on the dirty money flowing in from our casinos and cheap rooms, which we in turn poured back into casino construction, building out Nickel Slots to literally nickel and dime our low wealth population.
Things turned rotten quick for Hepatitians as the city, much like its impoverished citizens, lived paycheck to paycheck and refused to introduce any form of law enforcement into the city. Fires engulfed the abandoned residential areas and ultimately we were forced take out further loans to invest in an honest industry of mining.
With our export business beginning to boom, pollution on the rise, and sewage backing up, Hepatitis Seas is well on its way to living up to it's reputation as the metaphoric anchor of regional prosperity! — Robert Bowling
Could we be witnessing the beginnings of a metal and alloy superpower? Only time and an abdominal ultrasound will tell.
